This kind of friend…

There are only a few people you will ever be blessed to meet that will be this kind of friend. A true friend that loves you at your best and worst. Someone who listens and pats your head letting you cry it all out (or write it all out.)

But once you let go, and let the real you shine through, knowing that person still loves you and believes in you anyway in spite of the flaws, well, that’s a real friend.

I don’t know if this kind of friend is a common as we think. There is such freedom in being real, being who you are, letting go of fears that others may judge or think less of you should you show them the real person inside by expressing the depths of your heart. Sometimes, just saying how you really feel is better than bottling it up, because letting it out restores healing.

This kind of friend won’t judge or lecture because they understand rash words or feelings may just be our pain crying out. They know us and love us to know maybe we just need to vent and they understand the root cause of our pain.

Being real takes courage.

Being you takes courage.

But as my beautiful mama says, (paraphrased) Sometimes God uproots the weeds in our friendship gardens to only leave us with the flowers.

I’m so glad for the true flowers still left in my friendship garden. πŸ€—

I pray that I will grow to be this kind of friend.

β€œOh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”

― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

🌻🌼🌷⚘🏡🌹πŸ₯€

Author: Viv

I'm a TBI warrior whose hope and strength comes from God.

74 thoughts on “This kind of friend…”

  1. Great post Vivian!! My grandmother told me once that if you can make a true friend, you’ve accomplished more than most in one lifetime. I like to think I’ve accomplished this.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you so much. Your grandmother’s words are so wise. Moms and grandmoms are gifts forever etched in our hearts because they know by experience the truth discovered only through living and learning. God bless you John!

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh yes, Michelle!! Definitely! I’m learning this but it took brain injury and chronic illness to reveal who is and isn’t. Painful, but ultimately good. Praying for you today. Big hugs!πŸ€—πŸ™β€

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Beautifully expressed, simple beautiful. And true.
    When we are lucky enough to find such a person, treasure them with the care God bestowed on us through love. We all need to ‘vent’ and get it out of our system, in a positive way, through dialog. What better way then to have someone who understands and just lets us pour our hearts. The cleansing and comfort that comes afterwards is assurance and trust and we are both better for it. Love is endearing! Blessings!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you for this treasured comment!! I am delighted to tell you God has given me a few gemstone friends to treasure and love. That assurance and trust you speak of speaks such comfort to me. I praise our Lord Jesus for these friends!!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This is so beautiful. What a blessing to have and be such a friend – i truly feel it is God’s Grace that makes it possible. When we need such love, He makes it happen and that is so sweet and special. Thank you for these words, beautiful Vivian! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hi Jordan! I agree so much! Rare and precious like a glistening ruby in the sunshine! I’m thankful God has granted me a few gems in my life. And shown me who exactly they are!!😍 Blessings dear girl!!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I do actually. My husband would say the same of me. He doesn’t have any close friends, but that doesn’t seem to bother him. My dad has a long time friend who he talks to once a month by phone and that seems to work for them. I think of the friendship mentioned between David and Jonathan in the bible and know that a close friendship like that is possible but rare. I used to think I had tons of friends but after illness and injury I have learned that this kind of friend is less common than I thought.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. So nice words. It is coming directly from your to my heart. Yes we all need friends. Friends come in different shapes and sizes. You have created a picture of an ideal friend. I can think of only one ideal friend. That friend is found in only one that friend is ………….any….. guess……πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ. Ok let me not test your patience. That friend is Jesus. Your post reminded me of this. πŸ‘‰ Proverbs 18:24 NASBS
    A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Very true Nitin. Jesus is the best friend anyone can ever have. Yes, I was thinking of more of an ideal friend…….I have lost so many over my illness and injury I really treasure the flowers that remain in my friendship garden. Honestly, I don’t know now if I’m a desired friend or if I’m just loved out of empathy. It’s okay though. God bless you for your comments, they really helped me. πŸ™‚πŸ€“

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My dear Sister, I love you because of who You are not what you have are don’t have. God has open doors for me to connect with others. When I was diagnosed…there were many who are no longer in my life. But I’m ok because Jesus Christ has plans for you and I and many others as well. He said He will never leave us nor forsake us. And He provides us our Needs. Amen!! Amen!! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love you too. I feel so blessed by that love. Yes, it’s hard to lose the ones we love at our lowest but it’s ok. Amen!! He won’t ever leave or forsake us. Have you read my poem about Jesus my friend? It’s been awhile, I’ll send a link. Xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh!! My Dear Sister, and Friend!! I Love This So Much!! I Can Relate To Every Word That You Have Shared Here. I Have Taste The Sweet, as Well as The Bitter. It Has Been Jesus Christ Who Has Listen To Every Crying, Angry, etc. Words That Was Within My Own Heart. It Was Him Who Had Clean All The Bitterness etc. From out of my own heart. So I Can Once Again Be A Friend To Others. I Can Say He Is My Friend. He Has Shut Doors and Open Doors To People Whom He Knows Are To Be, and I To Be A True Friend. You are One of them. And I’m One of Your Friends. ((Hugs)) God Continue Using You To Encourage Others In His Name. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen dearest sister Betty. It’s only Jesus who will listen to my hurt and pain knowing how to comfort me perfectly. Yes, you are right, He can heal the hurt, pain and bitterness. I admit, I have tasted the bitterness of friends lost and why. They have rejected me at my lowest. I have been abandoned by most and the church looks away. But, Jesus is healing my hurt, and the bitterness and showing me that He is the most Faithful FRIEND I will ever have or need. He is my Friend! Yes, dearest Betty and you too. I am so thankful and blessed by your friendship dear heart. You encourage and love me everyday, for that I’m so very grateful. Hugs precious! πŸ€—πŸ€—

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  6. Let go all you want and you will still be believed in because you are a special person! True. And you speak positively about things that others may have a negative tone about. Your posts are uplifting and you are a blessing!! πŸ™πŸ˜‡πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Christy! I have tasted the bitterness of the reality of friendships lost post TBI but I do believe that God puts certain people in our lives for a reason and a season. Awwww, I’m so glad they uplift and bless you. πŸ€—πŸ’–

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This post touches me deeply, Vivian! There is a sense, and some personality types, that are never really understood and never feel like they fit it. This kind of friend, to me anyway, is more than rare, and more than a treasure from God’s treasure chest if you find one! I pray you have many of these friends, and thank you for the reminder of what we need to be for other people as well!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m delighted you could relate to it Jeff. I definitely understand what you mean about personality types. I am married to an INFJ and my daughter is an INTJ both quiet, not the popular type. Lol, I’m outgoing, or I used to be….. but now with TBI I’m more quiet and also not the popular type. Haha!!πŸ˜† God’s given me a few close friends through all this and I’m now more enlightened as to what a friend really is. God bless you. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Good! I am glad you have a few close friends! Worth their weight in gold! I can relate to you husband, for I am an INFJ also. I am an introvert, but always, always considered an extrovert. Your husband, as a male INFJ, is considered maybe .5% to at the very most 1.5% of the male population! If he ever feels he is not understood, tell him I feel his pain!! Maybe that is another reason I so relate to your post, Vivian!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh my goodness! That’s unbelievable! My poor hubby has always felt like a lone chief dancing to the beat of his own drum. Well wouldn’t you know! Ha! .5%-1.5% is very tiny…..no wonder he doesn’t have friends!😣 Pre TBI I was an ESFP, but have no idea what I am now. Probably more introverted.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I totally agree. He probably does feel alone. INFJs see, sense and feel things others don’t at times. It can be quite painful, overwhelming at times. And when he senses things about people that he shouldn’t know, and then you find out he’s right later, it can be spooky! You can go to Humanmetrics.com and take on line version for free. Look forward to seeing what you β€œare”now….but you are still, and always will be, you! That’s a good thing!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Wow Jeff, the test said ISFJ. Huh! I’ve definitely changed but, I still love people even though I’m not into social things presently I feel for others pains, hurts…..sometimes I feel so much. It’s like a deep hurt for others. I’m not sure why my P perception changed to J judgement. But, it’s called the Nurterer and I agree with that. Yes, spooky. He can sense things about others I think are nice. I have always been perceptive but he can discern better than I can. And I’m glad for that! Thanks so much. It’s been fun! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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