Due to the faithfulness of a close friend and my precious children, I was kindly told over the weekend how obvious it was to them how bitter I’ve grown lately. My recent post “We All Understand” brought up a lot of discussion for which I’m thankful but I’m also ashamed of the truth concerning my own heart.
Unknowingly, I had let bitterness slip in the back door of my mind and was feeding it giant sized spoonfuls of self pity and anger.
When people or circumstances seem unjust it’s so easy to feel justified in allowing the anger to fester inside, unchecked because the heart is deceitful. My heart had deceived me into thinking it was righteous anger but in fact, it was bitterness corroding my spirit.
Here is what Luke and Trisha Priebe say concerning bitterness in their book Trust Hope Pray;
When new pains crop up, so do new opportunities to grow angry. And really, bitterness is only fermented anger or nourished self pity.
The hurts may go deep. But bitterness always runs the risk of going much deeper.
Additionally, we must recognize that rejecting bitterness during seasons of distress must be done every day, and sometimes every hour!
I thought I had taken my bitterness and thrown it all away, but it had piled back up again and wasn’t being emptied out and taken to the dumpster. Instead, it has just built up, and I was fully unaware of the stink left for others to smell and be turned off by.
I have cried my tears, and have run to my heavenly Father for help and forgiveness because I now realize, how desperately I need His help to fight off and keep away bitterness.
Here are three steps John Piper gives that I have personally found extremely helpful:
1) Admit that you can’t shake it.
Obviously, I have done this, however, I had no idea this process had to be repeated over and over again as bitterness continues to rear it’s ugly head. I thought I could shake it off and boom, it’s gone. Nope. Not a chance.
As I have been praying a lot over my problems, it was only for healing from the hurt. I had left my own heart unchecked and forgot to examine whether or not I had forgiven and let go of the anger I felt towards x, y, and z.
Piper says to hand it all over to God and He will lift and carry it. I can trust God to help me fight my battles and also understand that there are some things I can’t keep allowing to eat away at me like acid. I must let go! God will make things right. Maybe not now or soon or even in my lifetime, but He will.
Lastly, Piper says to stop! Stop savoring the bad cycle of thoughts and get out of that harmful thought process. Just stop going there!
Friends, I apologize if you too were effected in a negative way due to my writings. Months ago, I wrote a very helpful post regarding Jesus understanding our trials and sufferings and also concerning bitterness. Here’s the link : The reality of TBI.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your love.