Pretending To Be Okay

Dear readers, my husband secured a job this week at a company close to our home. We praise God for this blessing and for easily opening up this door for our family. We only went without income for seven weeks and yet, so many of you loved on us tangibly which warmed my heart, and helped greatly. I’m blessed beyond words to have such a supportive community here on WordPress……who are my family of brothers and sisters in the Lord.

The last seven weeks have had spiritual ups and downs for sure. While I remained hopeful, I do admit at times I pretended to be okay when I wasn’t. I didn’t want to depress my dear readers or show the community a lack of stability. Maybe I should have been more real as I’ve always been when writing of my brain injury but I felt myself closing up and going into survival mode once again. It’s a bad habit of mine……pretending to be okay while probably obvious to others that I am not. God’s working on me here. I want to be a blessing to this blogging community and not scare anyone away with my messy existence. Yet, I’m learning that showing our weakness always reflects how strong Jesus is and ultimately brings glory unto His name. He is teaching me daily through His word how to remain faithful to Him through not just what I say or do but also in how I think. Our thoughts are important because they reflect what’s in our hearts and consequently directs our actions. I’m learning to seek His face first when troubles hit me and lay my burdens down at His feet. Running to Him when the negative thought processes slam me and drag me down has been such a beautiful comfort and spares others from the domino effects of my venting.

Thank you for prayers on behalf of my family and for the beautiful ones who donated to my blog. You know who you are and I praise God for your love.

Much love,

Viv 💞

Author: Viv

I'm a spoonie Blogger grieving the loss of my husband who went home 2/13/22.

49 thoughts on “Pretending To Be Okay”

    1. Praising God with you my friend! God always provides the lamb! And the things you said through this post make you human girl! I do a little of that retreating myself when things get unsure in my world. But thank goodness He has already overcome that world for us! ❤️🤗

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      1. Yay! And you’ve been such a huge support! I appreciate all your love and prayers dear Renee. God is so Good! Yes, sometimes I’m like a turtle and pull my head back into my shell for protection. But, I know God can use me more if I’m out there and real. That’s a test for me. I’ve gotten burned a few times so I’m treading carefully. I know you understand precious! Yes, He has overcome! Amen! Love and hugs, hugs, hugs!❤

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  1. Thank you for sharing God’s answers to our prayers.
    You bring up something many of us grapple with: how much of our burdens and personalities do we share with our blog friends? God knows the tipping point. You are a blessing!

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    1. Thanks so much dear Kathy for mentioning this concern of mine. I’m so glad you brought up how many bloggers have this concern also. It’s a fine line for me and I really want to bless others, not depress them. Thank you for saying that! Praise God. ❤🤗

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  2. This is a blessing to hear dear Vivian 🙂 Thanking God for hearing our prayers, and answering them. I understand about not wanting to share everything. As we go through this “adventure” with our house, there is more bad to tell than good. I try to do an update but feel like who wants to here all this gloom and doom 🙂 I know, just as you do, that God has got this but also feel it wouldn’t be so up lifting. Not that God promised us a rose garden all the time, did He. He did promise that He hears us, He is strongest when we are struggling, weak, and cry out to Him. Praise the LORD for your blessing, and it is a reminder of all the mercy and grace God has for us 🙂

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    1. Thank you dear Margaret for your understanding. Yes, “gloom and doom” I just feel the need to give it all to God and not use my blog as a venting outlet ya know? He sure does got us and I’m so thankful for Him and His word. Such a comfort. We are so thankful for the blessing of work. So thankful. I’m thankful for you and will pray about your home my friend. Blessings and big hugs!❤🤗

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  3. Whoooohooooo!!! What a mighty God to provide employment yet once again! 🙌🏽🙌🏽
    I understand the posture of self preservation mode. For many years I would shirk from sharing my heart because I was always misunderstood and told how to think. I’m so grateful that when we go to God, He walks with us through each valley and from time to time, blesses us with great friends we can be vulnerable with. ❤️❤️❤️

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    1. It’s been wonderful watching my husband be happy and silly again Dee!! Oh yes, being misunderstood when we are desperately trying to convey our inner feelings and then to be corrected feels harsh. So, I totally get that and totally love the closeness of true friendship that are our safe people. I’m so glad you’re that friend Dee!😄🤗❤

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  4. Praise God for His provision in your lives! And I am continually learning more about the ways that Jesus is glorified when we lift up our weakness to Him, instead of trying to cover it up. Thank you for sharing your open heart hear! Blessings to you and your family!

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    1. Awwwww thanks Betty! That is just what I needed to hear. If others are helped and Jesus is glorified then my blog’s purpose and message is honoring to Him. Blessings dear one and big hugs too!❤❤❤🤗

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  5. I’m thankful and excited to hear this news!! I was wondering how you were doing and came to see if you posted anything. So happy to read this! God bless you. Hugs and love! 🤗💕

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    1. Awwww, sweet Dawn, thank you for checking on us! My hubby found work through a temp agency. We hope he gets hired on soon with benefits. We are very thankful for the opened door. Much love back. Are you in VA?

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      1. You’re welcome. I hope they hire him in. I have gotten several good jobs by starting as a temp. Not yet, I will be back early November. Still packing and getting ready for the movers. Such fun Lol. Thanks for asking.

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      2. It may just be temporary but God knows our needs. Please continue to pray, the pay is low. I will continue to pray for your move…..I know how stressful that can be. Xoxo❤😍

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  6. It’s really hard to talk about stuff like this, I think. I’m sensitive in general, and I often struggle with my flesh when people tell me to pray. I don’t like band aid answers, and I feel often that is one of the only things I hear. I want people to share the experience and emotions, not tell me “what to do” per say. But I do understand that this is the flesh wanting me to focus on myself. God has helped me worked on just loving people regardless, even if they don’t understand, even if they ruffle my feathers, lol, give it to Him and be thankful. But for that reason, I do not always share either because I know I can be vulnerable. Praise the Lord Jesus for moving on behalf of you and your family! I’m so glad you felt the support and had it. He is truly so good. As I recently said to some sisters in Christ, He overwhelms my overwhelm. ❤

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    1. Yes, Yes! I’m very much treading a fine line between wanting to share for edification and venting. I’m praying for this! Vulnerable……..me too! That sums it up for me dear one! I need God to guide me here….a lot of my hesitation to share too much is because my parents read my blog and they also worry about me. Mama is unwell so I try to protect her too.
      Oh, lol, yes…..the feather rufflers…😂gotta live them right. I think of Jesus ‘ words, about loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us. Tough, but yes, I’m praying to follow that example of scripture. Much love dearest! ❤❤

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