A Fun Surprise

I had to share with you all the neatest thing that came from the UPS man today via my friend Kim….

Okay, let me backtrack here a bit. I am required to swallow several supplements daily to keep me going and help heal my central nervous system. Unfortunately, my swallow muscles aren’t quite right and so I have to crush up everything I take and stir into applesauce just to get it down. Otherwise, I just can’t do it.

So, for years I’ve taken a heavy ice cream scooper and an old rag, beaten the pills into a fine dust before stirring into my applesauce. I know I look as stupid as it sounds…πŸ˜‚

Well, not anymore folks! Kim lovingly sent to me an Ezy Crush Pill Crusher from Amazon. I’m literally so excited right now because taking my supplements will be so much easier and I won’t conveniently forget anymore due to the hassle.

Whoo Hooooo!! Looky here folks, I’m moving up in the world. No more waking the hubby and neighbors because I have to beat up pills!! I’m so thrilled and excited to get this and humbled too. She also generously sent a yummy flavored pre-biotic powder to help aid in digestion. I’m overwhelmed by such love!😍

God knows how bummed I’ve been lately but He continues to send loving kisses from friends like Kim because He knows, cares, and uses people to lift us up and urge us forward. We’re not ever alone in any of our troubles. In response to others who haven’t been nice, I find myself wanting to pop my turtle’s head back into my shell for protection but that’s not what God wants! He knows we need each other, community, and fellowship, and that’s why we are to reach out, to share, to pray and to never ever give up hope!

Much love,

Viv

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Progress and Prayers

Dear Readers, I’m so grateful for the huge overflowing of kindness and prayers received by so many as I push along towards healing. I am getting stronger in many ways although my emotions are healing at a slower pace than my body. I’ve reached out to several prayer groups for prayer as well as many of you individually. I feel your prayers for me and the comfort of the Holy Spirit as I have struggled off and on under the stifling blanket of depression. I’m still battling challenges of my emotional health but God has given me a profound sense of His love in the midst of this storm. He has used several blog posts from old and new friends, and my weekly Bible study with Kim, to hold me up and to keep my eyes fixed upon Him. He has heard the cries of my heart, and given me scriptures after scriptures to wash away sorrows leaving hope, and pouring truth to my soul. Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers! Truly, I’m grateful for this body of believers who have loved on me and showered me with support. ❀

As I mentioned before, I am getting much stronger physically. I can see a HUGE difference in contrast to where I was a year ago to where I am now.

Last year walking was a huge obstacle that seemed insurmountable. There were moments I wanted to give up trying to walk because this exercise made me feel worse instead of better. I could barely walk to my next door neighbor’s house and back without needing hours to recover deep inside my head. When mentioning it to my Dr. she said something about the cerebellum and how it was changing, and to not go beyond my physical limits but to still walk as much as I could. It seemed like a catch 22 because I needed to walk but it’s effects were so scary, I was afraid. But I kept trying. I would wait several days and try again. It was a long arduous process. Trying, waiting, trying again because I knew I couldn’t give up. So, keeping at it, pushing through the pain and fear I’m excited to report I can now walk three houses down my road, nearly 1/2 of a mile!! This is huge because there was a time three years ago, I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom and my husband had to carry me from room to room because my muscles were so weak.

I am physically gaining strength but still facing the challenge of not able to handle climbing more than one or two stairs at a time. My balance is not great and there seems to be a mild disconnection between my head and legs leaving me feeling all Loosey Goosey and wobbly in the space around me. My dear husband is like my own personal scout, scouting out places, locations and surroundings, making sure my body can handle it before we try adventuring out there into the world. My husband also has the additional challenge of handling all things pertaining to our downstairs basement/laundry room since I can not handle going down them unless I go slowly on my rear end. This is exhausting and doesn’t leave much energy left over for other tasks like laundry, cleaning, or sorting so those tasks rest on him now.

Your prayers are very much appreciated and I just want you to know I’m truly seeing results! God is slowly healing me and He is giving me moments of reprieve from the TBI, glimpses of hope and good sunny days. I’m able to handle social settings better (minus the stairs) and I need less recovery time then I required before. I even went to church last Sunday and was greatly encouraged by it.

The road to recovery is long and hard but I do see progress. And like a dear friend once said to me, “slow progress is still progress anyway.”

Much love,

Viv ❀

Here’s a link to my podcast where I was given the privilege of sharing my story.


Romans 11:33-36

33 O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!

34 For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?

35 Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again?

36 For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

For prayer requests please visit my page Come Pray With Me, and join in a loving community.

“WE ALL UNDERSTAND”

For several years, I have felt like I have given myself an emotional brain injury, by constantly trying to answer questions regarding my infirmities to people, begging them to understand, offering blog posts to read, and health articles, and striving to gain acceptance in a very unaccepting world. At times it’s figuratively felt like beating my head against a brick wall of judgement, ignorance and unsupport. Hence, I have felt defeated and almost like giving up because my rare case has left me in a constant state of being on the defense and exhausted.

So, last week after my Good Eyes, Bad Brain post, a dear blogging friend Renee said three of the most powerfully supportive words I had been hoping to hear.

She said, ” We all understand”

Renee used her insights specifically to encourage my heart by saying that my loving blogging family all understand and I don’t need to worry about keeping up if having a tough time of it. I felt sincerely understood and isn’t that what we all hope to gain? There is such comfort and peace when the body of Christ says that they understand. It’s a genuinely priceless gift!!

If you are not following her awesome Blog, “Heart Tokens”, I strongly encourage you to do so immediately! She has a very unique perception on life and people and uses her wisdom while she writes beautiful posts from the heart.

What a wonderful encouragement three little words brought to my heart!! They were actually three very big words and dearest Renee, I am so blessed and thankful for you. God used YOU to encourage me last week and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful, thoughtful, heart tokens!!

Has someone’s words comforted or encouraged you lately? A fellow blogger? A family member or friend? I’d love to hear about it.

Much love,

Viv πŸ’š

For prayer requests please visit my new page Come Pray With Me.

Forgiveness

O Lord, let my heart be opened

Unafraid to let others in

Let my healing be a beacon

By your grace it can begin

Let the fears of rejection

Fly to places far

Fill my spirit with courage

To be a child bearing a scar

Unashamed of who I am

I’m yours, worthy of love

Seek to be God’s warrior

These pleas go upward and above

Forgiving insensitive indifference

They may not understand or care

Realizing I am worthy

Because your love is always there

Your continual forgiveness

For you intercede for me

Countlesss sins forgiven

Guilty penalty is now free

Lord, grant the grace to extend

Forgiveness that you provide

To others who have hurt yours

Opened heart with arms held wide

Written by Vivian Joy

March 2019

This kind of friend…

There are only a few people you will ever be blessed to meet that will be this kind of friend. A true friend that loves you at your best and worst. Someone who listens and pats your head letting you cry it all out (or write it all out.)

But once you let go, and let the real you shine through, knowing that person still loves you and believes in you anyway in spite of the flaws, well, that’s a real friend.

I don’t know if this kind of friend is a common as we think. There is such freedom in being real, being who you are, letting go of fears that others may judge or think less of you should you show them the real person inside by expressing the depths of your heart. Sometimes, just saying how you really feel is better than bottling it up, because letting it out restores healing.

This kind of friend won’t judge or lecture because they understand rash words or feelings may just be our pain crying out. They know us and love us to know maybe we just need to vent and they understand the root cause of our pain.

Being real takes courage.

Being you takes courage.

But as my beautiful mama says, (paraphrased) Sometimes God uproots the weeds in our friendship gardens to only leave us with the flowers.

I’m so glad for the true flowers still left in my friendship garden. πŸ€—

I pray that I will grow to be this kind of friend.

β€œOh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”

― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

🌻🌼🌷⚘🏡🌹πŸ₯€